Jump Off

Once I jump off the edge of this reality
Once adrenaline rushes through my veins
Once my stomach feels that extreme terrors and pains.

 

I will keep my eyes open, to witness the acceleration of that sudden change
I will use my voice for once,
I will scream so loud until silence penetrates my universe,
Coz i wouldn’t need to use it once again

Once my feet are out of that reality,
Once my head is up and empty,
I will be floating in a space of no gravity,
Where there is no fear, no doubt and no pain.

There will be nothing, nobody and No one that I know of,
I will be free, unburdened, light and peaceful.

Once I grab the hand of that fearful child,
We will be diving into eternity,
And the child will smile forever again.

 

Katia

The Kingdom of All Kingdoms, Water VS Blood “Episode 9”

The Kingdom of All Kingdoms

Zoya the Queen has been for a while watching this boy in the under-world, he for now can’t walk, since he’s been injured in a car accident; broken legs and some ripped ligaments. And so the wheel chair has been a must till he recovers.

You may wonder what’s so special about this. I’d like to say the Queen felt for the boy, he’s been in pain, had to drop school, couldn’t run and play with the other boys and girls. He has been feeling horrible, frustrated and doubtful about his own future, because the doctors hope for the best but not assuring that it all is going to be alright. And as any other boy he had hopes and dreams, but frustrations and boredom got to him. But that’s not all, the boy has people to care for him, love him also supporting him. Which is good right? We all need genuine  people around,

But what triggered Zoya to watch the boy was the fact that the boy has siblings and relatives, and parents. He’s got a normal family, and everyone in that family thought they were an awesome family, with great bonds and truly connected to each other. But As soon as the boy sat in his wheel chair things showed themselves differently. Only a few cared, and some tried to and others never bothered, It did hurt the boy and others around who engaged themselves in his situation. So why didn’t the rest bother? Because they have been busy with their own lives, have been selfish, underestimated his medical condition. and have been striving to achieve their materialistic goals in life, not keeping in mind that priorities change and shuffle according to life events and circumstances.

It surprised the Queen to see how his friends, besides the family members who actually cared, have been showing more  concern than some family members.

The Queen thought it’s somehow wrong, and sickening. It’s not the way things should be like! And she decided to take action: they say blood is thicker than water! But life down there is kind of messed up and doesn’t always show that blood is thicker. Accordingly she mixed the blood with more water for some relatives, while she gave the friends who cared more blood than water, to keep the bond even stronger and tighter. Thinking if some don’t care then they don’t deserve the blood connection and all the sacred things related to it.

Katia 🙂

The Kingdom of All Kingdoms, Hypocrisy “Episode 8”

The Kingdom of All Kingdoms

Everybody hates hypocrisy, but many can’t live without it. This thought made the Queen sick in her stomach, felt like throwing up. Why “citizens” can’t get over this bullshit?

The Queen has a very good friend of hers in the “upper-world”, a friend to whom she likes to talk. By the “Royal River” they sat, enjoyed the view and the breath taking golden charm of the river and its surroundings.

The Queen told her friend, “Gaia”, that she doesn’t like the fact that the majority of the “citizens” are hypocrites and that they don’t have the courage to be natural, honest, blunt and be themselves with others. And although “Gaia” looks rigid with her rocky hips and shoulders, along with her sandy legs, she has the brightest hair, all in green, and the most beautiful waterish eyes, they are as blue as the bluest sea, and as deep as the deepest ocean, “Gaia” has always been wise, patient, very adapting, funny, but could still be very short tempered.

“My dear Queen, what do you expect? They have been always the same since the beginning of life on the “under-world”, and they will always be like this”, “Gaia” said throwing golden stones into the river.

“Yeah, you have known them better than me, longer than me, and I can see your point, But what if?” Zoya the Queen commented,

“What is what your majesty?” “Gaia” kept a stone in her hand waiting for the Queen to speak.

“Don’t get me wrong dear “Gaia”, you know how “citizen” are when they are drunk, high or under the effect of certain things? you know right?” She wondered.

“Of course I know! But what is your point your majesty?”

“My point, and don’t get me wrong again I repeat, if we got all these “citizens” drunk and high down there, don’t you think things will be different? I think they will have a chance to be more honest, they will treat each other openly, no theater drama and hypocrisy will be needed.”

“My Queen!! You do know that some of them become aggressive and dangerous when they are under the effect of alcohol and drugs, don’t you?”, “Gaia” showed concerns.

“Well of course I know, what If we just give them the right dosages? Not to over do,  that’s what I mean, I want to see them honest, just honest!”, she explained.

“Gaia” laughed, and thought it won’t be bad to experiment that, she loved watching “citizens”, their behaviors have been always a subject of curiosity to her, though “citizens” did and still ruining “Gaia”‘s health and pretty looks with all their industries, trashing and carelessness.

“Let’s do it and see”, “Gaia” whispered to the Queen, and so the day came when every single adult “citizen” was under the effect of some drug or alcohol, “Gaia” and the Queen sat there in that room where they can monitor and see the world down there, they were sitting there and laughing so hard at how human can look totally respectful at the same time very ridiculous when honest. It was totally funny to see how some “citizens” flipped against their work partner, bosses, life partners, friends, quit their jobs, started looking for other houses, decided to change expensive cars for cheaper cars, decided to stop buying expensive clothing and instead by something during the sale seasons or from the flee markets, many were honest enough to simply be themselves and do the things they enjoy, simply the things they enjoy, not just do things to get approved by others. Watching those “citizens” suddenly change and suddenly open up and start doing new things or quit doing old things, amazed both the Queen and “Gaia”. But that wasn’t enough for them, they took a look at social networks, and they both thought observing “citizens” and read their statuses and comments on social networks were completely different experiences.

Their statuses turned out to be shocking! Too honest they were! Telling each other they no longer wanna talk to each other, calling each other names, bragging about their honesty, feeling too powerful and strong, admitting being silly, idiots, dumb, scared, selfless, or even selfish in the past, opening up and expressing how sick they got of having to wear masks and pretend things they don’t feel.

And there were other good things too, like opening up to each other and expressing admiration and love towards each other, they weren’t scared that day to express their  good feelings. Which was pretty amusing to both the Queen and her good friend “Gaia”

And that’s how they spent some time together during the day, watching, monitoring, reading statuses and laughing. Although they both knew as soon as these “citizens” sober up everything will be back to what it used to be: HYPOCRISY, HYPOCRISY AND MORE HYPOCRISY!

Katia 🙂

The Kingdom of All Kingdoms, Architecture? “Episode 7”

The Kingdom of All Kingdoms

Zoya, The Queen of The Kingdom of All Kingdoms, decided one day to take a quick trip to the “Under-world”, to see the beauty of cities’ architecture. She has always been fond of what “citizens” of all times created with their talents, smartness and needs.

She roamed around all the “remote kingdoms”, admiring some of what she saw. She enjoyed the Roman and the Greek architectures, and all the myths related to them. While the Islamic architecture has been always breathe taking to her, with all its illustrations. She always thought the Indian was full of thought, spirituality and beauty. And fascinated by  the Korean, Chinese and Japanese architectures, as they were full of royalty and deserved lots of respect. And liked to be there where the Mesoamerican architecture exists, because she liked to travel in time as well, to imagine or maybe try to remember what was there then.

She never liked the Medieval architecture, nor the life style back then, and for that she didn’t want to go and take a look, she never wanted to refresh her memories there. But she entertained herself a bit with the Gothic style.

The Queen liked what she thought was artistic, and so a bit more modern style was also something she wanted to see during her trip, so of course she paid some visits to cities that have the Baroque and the Classic styles.

She moved into modern architectural cities in her “remote kingdoms”, she preferred the Expressionist style rather than the International style. Some of the Critical Regionalism was good enough to impress her, but the Postmodern style wasn’t her favorite.

The Queen enjoyed her trip, although she didn’t understand how many, many cities didn’t have any style, any architecture and no taste at all; just random houses, buildings, silly concrete bridges, no monuments or landmarks to be mentioned. Besides that the style wasn’t all unified. And to her surprise this chaos and mess existed in kingdoms that once upon a time were glorious, those who had conquered the world once or twice in the past, those who were pioneers in science, arts and literature! She told the King as she returned to her Royal Palace in the “Upper-world” that “It is absolutely disgusting to walk or drive in such places, very lame and very unorganized, they don’t even pay attention to their cities’ structure, of course they won’t be able to unify the style”.

The Queen always like to spend her alone-time by the “Royal River”, up there, where it’s tranquil in a color of gold, and thought; if these “citizens” of our days right now or say a century back, couldn’t be smart enough themselves nor talented to create beautiful cities for themselves, they then could have simply copied some styles made by others in previous times, or parallel times. Copying doesn’t need any smartness, or creativity. All they needed to do, in her opinion, is to travel a bit around, see what they like, and do the same in their cities before damaging them with ridiculous concrete. She also thought; how can anyone abandon rivers and seas and establish major cities in the middle of nothing but sands and rocks! She really wondered; can stupidity be the reason why these “citizens” couldn’t even think of copying, or stealing, if you like to call it? But they are so good at stealing each other!

To her they could have used their robbery skills in some fancy architectural ways!

The Kingdom of All Kingdoms, Confused Sexual Orientation “Episode 6”

The Kingdom of All Kingdoms

The Queen Zoya, spent a few hours alone, thinking, She did seem to be sad and frustrated. Up there, in the upper-world, everyone noticed her negative feelings and restlessness. King David The Great of course noticed it as well. But he is wise, and gave her the time she needed. He knew she was going to talk to him anyway when she hits the bottom. But strange enough, she didn’t turn to The King, and that was the first time he approaches her first to see what was wrong with her.

The Queen finds it hard to explain her thoughts, and The King finds all the patience in the world to listen to her and try to calm her down. She is his sweetheart and the only thing he truly loved, he never loved before her, because she was the first from the under-world to show him and let him know how love feels like.

“Your Majesty, you shall come with me and see what I mean, I can’t really explain it. When I lived down there, I didn’t see such at all!” She exclaimed restlessly. And naturally The King joined The Queen to observe together what was happening down there, in the under-world.

She highlighted some scenes and zoomed in others for him to see and understand what she meant; straight male “citizens” acting like women! The King, for his wisdom, wasn’t surprised at all.

“Your Majesty! How come you are so calm?” She asked, demanding an answer!

“Your royalty, my dear Queen, what is bothering you here? I still don’t see where your frustration is coming from?” He said.

“Your Majesty, these people, the men, the guys, or the males call them if you wish, are straight! Why do they behave like women? Talk like women, they even talk a lot like women? becoming soft like women? They even care for their looks and haircuts and fashion like women! Look here please your honor!! Some “citizens” are going crazy! This my dear King, is just a common, a “citizen”, he isn’t a public figure down there! He is not a super star down there! Why, tell me dear King, why would he post something stupid and girlish like this on a social network? HIS NEW HAIR STYLE? Dear, tell me please! Is he for example confused regarding his sexual orientation? Or what is it?” She wondered.

“Show me more my Queen”, he gently demanded.

“Here my dear King, look how self-disrespectful this is! This male “citizen” cries over breaking up with his girlfriend who he never actually wanted, look at his heart in the past, do you see any genuine love? He dares crying in front of people!”, She continued.

The King took a quick look at the “citizen’s” heart in the past which didn’t old any love to the girl, it never glowed for her.

“And this here, gossips like women, and this gossips like women to women, and this complains all the time like a woman about everything, and this takes a picture of himself and stairs at himself in the mirror every few hours, while this thinks of nothing but plotting problems like women. Your Majesty, take a look at this “citizen”, observe him now” she demanded helplessly.

The King observed and saw a straight male delicate and soft like women, yet mean and jealous at the same time, like some other women, and how he doesn’t have a certain opinion and flipping much between his thoughts, and acts and talks very hypocritically. He observed his past too and saw how many friends he lost for not being a man of his words, for he didn’t value his own being and honor. The King then looked The Queen in the eyes and waited for her to say something after many more he saw and observed.

“King David! I am waiting for you to say something!” She exclaimed, “Why are you looking at me like this?”

“My dear, what do you want me to do about these?” He asked.

“I am the one who should do something!” She announced. “But I don’t know what, for I don’t comprehend what I see!”

“But I strictly prohibit you, your royalty!” he said.

“And why? you didn’t even explain!” The Queen turned furious, and her finger mistakenly was pointing at some “remote kingdom” and there thunder storms started. The King in return didn’t bother himself much about the storms, “My darling, these “citizens” you just showed me are just a sample of empty headed people, those of no belief nor a common sense, “citizens” of no use they are, no use at all. Useless to themselves first, then to everyone and everything around them. These my dear think they have a life, but they are lifeless!” He explained. “But your Majesty, I want them to be the opposite! I also don’t want such people to multiply and ruin others around them!” She objected. “You my dear, didn’t let me finish my words!” He patiently interrupted her. “I’m sorry, please tell me what is it you wanted to say, enlighten me with your wisdom, your royalty!” she wasn’t patient but managed to pretend it. “The reason I strictly prohibit you from taking any action towards these “citizens”, is simply because, my dear look me in the eyes when I address you and stop observing these “citizens” for now, these are the comedians for everyone up here, they are one of the reasons for many up here to laugh and smile, they do entertain my people, my soldiers and my crowds up here! I do not allow you or anyone to ruin such a chance for a sarcastic laugh and smile in my “Upper Kingdoms”, besides that they still pay taxes! What is there to be upset about?”

The Queen then felt puzzled, yet agreed with The King. And later she understood, since she tried to look at these sexually confused “citizens” as comedians when she needed a laugh and it did actually suit her mood too.

 

The Kingdom of All Kingdoms, Useless? Fired! “Episode 5”

The Kingdom of All Kingdoms

So in  the infinite “industrial kingdoms” hundreds of millions of “citizens” worked and worked all the time, on a single shift or on a double shift. They worked day and night. They no longer had names or identities, they had numbers, they were digits, yes digits that’s all they were.  So when they got into work they had to sign in using their digits and sometimes finger prints, and when they left work or got a break they had to do the same, no one trusted nobody, if one forgot to sign in it was their problem, there was no way to prove that they worked that day or that night. No one considered anyone’s circumstances, situations or position. So if they came they came, they signed in and it was going to show later, and if they didn’t they had to double their working hours later, or they had no chance to take a rest, or they got paid less,which is again about digits!

Besides that no one addressed anyone as a person, no one asked someone how they were doing, or how they felt, or what was up! no one cared for no one. All that mattered was to do and get the job done. And what mattered at the end was results, and results were also digits. How much of this we made and how much of that we finished, and how much are are going to produce of this item, and how many missing items are there, what are we exporting and how much of it has been requested, and what are we importing, when and how many, what’s the cost? what’s the income? That was briefly what was happening in  the infinite “industrial kingdoms”

So what happened if one worker couldn’t work anymore, if they lost some body parts while working, which happened frequently in places like factories and mines, some of these “citizens” lost some limbs? And what about those who ended up with serious sicknesses like cancers, especially those who worked in radiated environment? What happened to those who faced smaller problems like breaking bones or got seriously injured but by time they maybe had a chance to go back to work, because that all they had to do! They were not meant to have anything else to do or another life to live! What about those who simply died in some work accidents? So what happened to those?

You may wonder, right? I’m going to tell you nothing but the truth, those “citizens” who were just labor, lived and died at work. And what happened to those who became useless? and what happened to those who were useless for a while! They were fired, thrown away like used old rags, they were simply replaced. Everyone down there was used till totally abused. And when  the infinite “industrial kingdoms” needed some labor they simply requested more digits to do the work. And that happened either through the “Royal Educational missions” since they knew how to find people with low IQ, or letting some labor, in advance of course since it was all planned and designed to last for hundreds of decades, to make children, and those children were considered as the future labor digits. And of course to answer your questions, they were all brought up with the least resources and with no education, they were simply made to be nothing but non-stop workers, they were meant to grow up to work till they died. And those who died were burned and their ashes no one cared for. To bury all these it meant they had to sacrifice some space of land, which no one wanted to do, it can be used for industrial purposes.

That was the life cycle of a working “citizen”, it can be short, it can be long, but at the end it was all the same.

Katia 🙂

The Kingdom of All Kingdoms, Occasions! “Episode 4”

The Kingdom of All Kingdoms

Christmas? New Year’s? Mothers’ day? Valentine’s? The Queen thought: oh really? When is this going to end?!

The “citizens” were always totally annoying a few days before a certain occasion, running around shopping for gifts, clothes, booking spots in restaurants to dine, hotel rooms, or booking tickets in theaters, buying big amounts of flowers, chocolates, decorations, foods and beverages, etc. Making the cities noisy, dirty and jammed. Besides that everything looked so trivial, cheap, and pretty much meaningless, tasteless and colorless.

The Queen was wondering if “citizens” actually understood the real meaning behind these occasions, but she surely knew they didn’t. She also understood the majority of them were shallow, and expressed their feelings in a materialistic way, they were too shallow to take a minute and read to find out the real reason behind any occasion. She thought it’s totally odd how people don’t get sick and tired of repetitions, when every year they had the same occasions and they did the same things over and over again till their lives came to an end, and how they made sure to teach the coming generations to keep that loop of repetition. She even thought these “citizens” would celebrate any occasion even if it wasn’t related to them or to their culture and beliefs, and funny enough they did celebrate that the same way the celebrated everything else. She thought low of those who ignored glorious honorable occasions and replaced them with silly ones, and how they didn’t mind to erase their identities and origins. It was absolutely stupid to her how they didn’t notice how they keep making the rich richer when they keep spending, or wasting she preferred to think, their money this way.

Birthdays especially turned the Queen sarcastic and ironic, when she saw “citizens” joyful about their birthdays. She thought how can any of them be happy to lose one more year of their lives! But anyway there weren’t all that important to live forever.

She wasn’t pleased to see how the rich didn’t teach their kids to try and be creative but instead took them to shops to buy gifts and taught them nothing sensual but rather materialistic.

She was only happy to see how some kids down there tried to make gifts by themselves, drew and painted some cards and wrote actual letters, picked flowers from the fields, and crafted simple things that reflected their feelings and innocence. The poor of course had no chance to buy things, but rather made their own desserts, foods and drinks. They exchanged simple gifts they made themselves, or exchanged last year’s gifts. But those made her smile, when she sat on her throne above there and watched the life of these “citizens” passing by.

The Queen decided for 10 “citizen” years to ruin these occasions for the “citizens” trying to lessen the bullshit happening down their by making the weather totally icy, or absolutely  hot and dusty. She Enjoyed seeing icicles, and mirror like reflecting roads, and loved the seen of the golden sands flying aggressively in the air in tornado shapes. She loved that power of nature and loved more her power of control.  For 10 years in every occasion that people turned commercial and materialistic she used ice and extreme heat with dust to ruin their plans and their fake joy.

The Queen needn’t know what they thought, she knew exactly how they felt and what they thought. She laughed at some when they lost their temper over it, and how they smashed things and fought against each other, it made her laugh when she saw people getting depressed and letting themselves down, and how their bad moods were so strong and affected others, these were selfish she thought, selfish they had no consideration whatsoever. She was proud of these “citizens” who didn’t care and had enough brains to think nothing mattered but safety, good health and took care of their loved ones during the bad weather. She liked taking a look at those who took the chance to rest their bodies and brains, and those who took the chance to do the things they didn’t have the chance to do in regular days. She mostly enjoyed watching little kids running around indoors still playing and laughing, inventing new games every day to play and kill time.

And although 10 years passed of no actual “citizen” celebration, nothing changed afterwards, the Queen stopped making the weather horrible for them, but still the moment things went back to normal they went back to their old habits and their old ways of doing things. She thought “citizens” will never ever change, the majority never wanted to change or make any difference and progress, instead 10 years of no celebrations made them hungry for more trivial ways of celebrating. And so the Queen decided to remember all those who did their best during these 10 years and decided to rewards them with inner peace and rewarded them with more wisdom and smartness. Although she loved the kids the most, and protected them every chance she had, she still kept an eye on them to see how they are growing up and what direction they were to choose for themselves as they started to mature a bit. She knew they are not going to be cute, innocent and lovely kids forever.

Katia 🙂

The Kingdom of All Kingdoms, Intro!

The Kingdom of All Kingdoms

• This blog post will be followed by other blog posts that will hold similar titles. 
• The idea of this blog post it imaginary (a fantasy I would rather call it) , but it does touch realistic aspects of life in a very sarcastic way.
• If you are not a sarcasm fan please DO NOT read this post or any related posts in the future.
• Please respect the idea and DO NOT copy or imitate it in other blog posts.

The Kingdom of All Kingdoms is an imaginary kingdom that lays in a place a human cannot see or reach, it is ruled by a king “King David The Great” the character is personalized from a humble person that does exist in real, I keep his ID private for his own good, and a queen “Queen Zoya”  which is myself, Katia. The king and the queen are ruling both worlds; the upper and the under worlds, and looking eagerly forward now to fixing all the mess happening in the underworld. The reader will find different topics of criticism and sarcasm of what’s happening on earth. There are direct correspondence happening majorly between the queen and the citizens, as she likes to call them “The citizens of the remote kingdoms”

The posts will be progressing gradually according to life events.

Thanking you for following and reading me!

Katia 🙂

Flashlights… Flashbacks…

Fog

Loud music, flashlights, people dancing, drinks, smoke, cigarettes, many people; different faces, same place, different attitudes, but same place again.

I sit and watch, I gaze, I fly, I go away, I remember then forget, I wonder, I imagine, I ask myself but I never find the answers. More and more people, more and more drinks. Wondering about their lives, their backgrounds… only imaginations in my head… I sit and watch, I gaze, I fly, I go away… I don’t think I want to stay here… friends, more friends, drinks, smoke, cigarettes…  I’m gone, there’s no sense of place or time… I fly, I fall, I come back… loud music, flashlights… flashbacks; reminds me of how things went…

Talking to friends, getting updates of their lives… everyone has a problem, everyone drinks, no one dances… complains… loud voices… aggression, sadness… then just silence…

I close my eyes… I feel the beats of the loud music… with my head in my hands… I go back in time, I go forwards, I pause, but I can never change facts, incidents and reality…

I open my eyes… the beats of the loud music is all I hear… I go down to the dance floor… I cross the crowds I find you there… you don’t know m flashlights, I don’t know you… I’m pushed and pulled by the crowds, but I saw you, I stand, you smile, I don’t know you, flashbacks, you don’t know me. We are strangers in the middle of the crowds…

You sway, I pause, you pause I sway… trying to find harmony… the friends are gone, as usual, they don’t want to hear, they don’t want to know… they only want to say, to let us know…

I dance, I close my eyes and dance… I can sense you around me, you touch my hand, you grab my arm, you want to leave but I want to dance… I don’t know your name, flashlights, you don’t know mine, flashbacks… where did you come from, I asked, you never heard me..

You pull me out of the crowds, you take me out. It’s the city… it’s night… I tremble, you make us fall in silence… I feel you, but I don’t know you… you whisper in my ear, you murmur, I don’t understand you, you walk around me, I turn around as you walk, I take your hand in mine, I get you closer to me, I whisper in your ear, I murmur, you don’t understand me…

We walk down the street, yes, we do… but we don’t speak the same language… you smile, and I smile back. You show me the places I didn’t know, you show me the light in the middle of the darkness… the night is young, like us…

We are far away from the city now, on top of some mountain I never saw, fog, and more fog, silence, flashbacks, darkness, blackness, grayness… we sit, we don’t talk, you stand up, u make a move, you try, I stare, you pick up a flower, you make it mine, I wonder, you smile… I don’t know you, fog… you don’t know me, rain… we walk, we can’t see the road, you grab my hand, you release it, I fall, you hold me, we’re close, I whisper, you nod, I want to know your name, you make us fall in silence, you walk, you hold me between your arms. You lead us, you show me the way… fog, rain and trees… on top of a mountain, there is no siege… you put me down, my feet touch the ground, I sway you hold my hand… you run and pull me, I run beside you…

The winter is heavy, the night is young… let’s go back to the city. You take me away…

I trust you… you don’t know me… I thought of you millions of times, flashbacks… I saw you in my dreams… and you pictured me in yours, flashlights… we run, we laugh, we are wet, the rain is falling… the mud is deep, we are stuck… you hold me, you pull me… I laugh… you try… I give you a hand, you are out of the mud… don’t run, don’t risk, and take it slowly… I read your mind, and you read mine…

You hit the road… in the car we are sitting… our muddy pants are annoying… your wet hair is drying… my nose is cold… you take me somewhere, it’s your home… it’s warm… yes so warm… you open the shower, you gesture to me to use it… I get in, I close the door… I stand under the shower… the water is warm… lovely, soft… water, warmth, soap, and more water…

You make a fire in the fireplace… I sit on the rocking-chair, I sink in warmth…

I don’t know you… but I sink in warmth…

Katia