Let’s Talk About Depression, In a Non-Depressed Way!

I’m not talking about what people call depression when they are feeling down, sad & frustrated for a few days. That isn’t depression. Please do make sure to educate yourself about the most common & wide-spread mental illness called “Clinical Depression”. Because let’s save some time here instead of talking about the differences and the actuality of the illness.

I wanna talk about it because I’ve been battling with depression since late teenage, Of course not non-stop, but rather during different years and periods in my life. I’ve been medicated against depression multiple times. And the result? Relapsing over and over again. Sometimes depression came alone, & some other times it came hand in hand along with anxiety. And those two are seriously gruesome.

It’s seriously disturbing how mental health medicine & services related to mental health are super scarce in my country. But, recently things are beginning to change. In all my years with depression, no doctor suggested any type of therapy, other than pills. Seriously, why? Why mental health holds no value in this place whatsoever?

So, during the Covid-related lock-down, during the height of it, I was watching a Netflix series called “Sex Education”, it really did cheer me up during those days. But what inspired me is a main character who happens to be a sex therapist. This idea made me stop & pause & give myself a minute to wounder. The word “Therapist” or “Therapy” made me look online for any psychology & therapy courses. & I learned that “CBT” or ” Cognitive Behavioral Therapy” is wide-spread (around the world, not in my country), it’s also been used for decades now & it’s used for depression & anxiety.

So I enrolled in a “CBT” online course, & another & another, to understand the concept & learn how to use it. Yes, it isn’t easy to apply it, but it’s easier to apply it on people rather than applying it on yourself when you need it. Oh man, it’s so hard to be a therapist & a patient at the same time.

Another question that left real scars in my cognition was, why no one taught us basic simple principles of “CBT”? What are schools for? Why I never heard a single teacher emphasizing on the importance of mental health?

My studies continued, as I became very interested in the matter. I enrolled in a course that talks about Buddhism & mental health. One very popular concept is meditation & focusing on breathing when needed or just to reset the mind, & the wholesome benefits people get from that. & the importance of the concept of self awareness. Why no one ever emphasized on the importance of meditation? Why do we have to learn; 1st, the hard way, & 2nd, late in life, when changing your mindset or habits take serious time & efforts.

I’m sure it would have been worth it if such matters were addressed in schools, & taught & used to help children in need. You know, instead of telling us people who commit suicide go to hell, they should have been less judgmental & more proactive to know that some mental illnesses cause people to kill themselves with no remorse or second thoughts.

Instead of wasting our time learning stupid subjects, they could have taught us to be self-aware. But hey, who are we bullshitting? I don’t think any of my teachers back then knew anything about either subjects. It’s easier to be ignorant & judgmental.

I don’t want you to think that I’m blaming it all on school or some other party. I do understand now that it’s an individual responsibility to watch out for one’s well-being.

But it also bugs me when a doctor, or a bunch of them, tell depressed people things they believe are facts like “If someone relapses more than twice, they are doomed to deal with depression for the rest of their lives, & that this is now called a chronic depression.” WOW doc! Thank you for trying to depress me even more! But no, I’m not falling for that, because doctors are doctors, they know only enough, they don’t know everything. I’ve been told things by physicians that almost convinced me to go under the knife, to later discover that I’ve always dodged a bullet. MFs want money. (MF is an abbreviation for a bad word).

Depressed or not, anxious or not, a few care, many don’t. Which means, please, do try your best to live day by day, one step at a time. & if you need to talk about your mental health & well-being do make sure to reach out to me.

Katia 🙂

My Road Back To Happiness, Key One!

The Maze, Find Your Way To Happiness!

It is instantly changing, the way we understand happiness, the way we define it and they way we find it. It can’t be always the same; we live, we grow, we go through experiences, we get distracted and we forget the reasons and the motivations. Our lives are always changing, whether we notice that or not. The road to happiness, pretty much looks like a maze, we often get lost looking for it, but if we really want to find it, we definitely will.

Back in 2012 I went through some experiences, that made me sit and really think and wonder; what makes me actually happy. I asked myself the same question for months, and I had different answers. Every time I found an answer, I questioned it: Are you real? Do you last for a good long time? Do you give me a good feeling for a long period of time? Or are you just playing with me, being cool and playful now? Do you when I remember you ignite a fire inside me, each and every time? Or just this one time?

After too many days of thinking, I finally found Three Keys Of Happiness for me, which I will share with you later, remember, back in 2012. Time passed and I went through new experiences, mostly bad ones in 2014, which brought me down big time, made me negative, depressed, aggressive, unsatisfied, sad and lonely, even when surrounded by lots of people. 2014 all in all was bad, was really awful, and the negativity of it dragged itself through me towards 2015, and seeing months passing by, and the 1st quarterly of the year over, it freaked me out, and I though to myself: “Aha, no more 2014 in my life! I need 2012’s attitude back!” But do you think this happened planned? Never! Such things happen “Accidentally”

Happiness Key One: Success, Achievement And Sense Of Fulfillment

Yes, to feel happy you gotta achieve something, sometimes raise your bar up high and achieve something big, but hey! Sometimes you can’t, so how about a Small/Medium size achievement?

How do we do that? Set a goal, say a short term one, something you can achieve in a month or two. Work on it, get busy, and wait for it to grow, harvest it when it’s ready!

Sometimes, we get too busy trying to achieve something, that we don’t notice that we did already, thinking: “Oh No! Not yet, not that soon, not that way!”, but hey! What if you and your achievement got noticed, pointed out and praised? Won’t that make you happier than you praising yourself? So please, do it, and do it right, criticize yourself till you think it’s perfect, but when somebody comes and says “Oh wow! You have done all that?”, please stop, and take a second and give yourself some applause! Others noticing your efforts when you least expect it, is an achievement by itself!

Early 2014 I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis, an Auto-Immune disease that attacks small joints; like in hands, feet and spinal cord. But now I highly doubt it’s RA, maybe just Arthritis. Anyway, that health issue didn’t allow me to work out or teach my classes for a few months, pain was unbearable, I slept and woke up with pain, stiffness and the feeling of me being too damn old for life! Immobility is a scary thing. Which made me depressed, lazy and demotivated, so I ate a lot ALL DAY, ALL NIGHT! KATIA WTF! lol

Time passed by, and I was taking my medications as I should have, I did make sure to swim, if not daily then day after day, but still that wasn’t sufficient, but things started getting better over time. Teaching some classes became an option, and later more and more and back to cardio, but my laziness became habitual.

2015 I decided it’s time to stop being lazy, it’s time to lose weight before summer time comes and it’s time to bring my fitness level back, at least, or if possible jump over a higher wall, why not increase my fitness level? Nothing can stop me now, my joints are doing well, thank God!

And guess what? It all started when I started calorie-counting! Did I reach my goal? Mine??? No, not yet, but hey! People already noticed my appearance, my fitness level and the elevated energy in my classes!

Bottom line, get up, set a goal and start working on it! I already gave you The First Key Of Happiness, don’t waste no more time!