Let’s Talk About Depression, In a Non-Depressed Way!

I’m not talking about what people call depression when they are feeling down, sad & frustrated for a few days. That isn’t depression. Please do make sure to educate yourself about the most common & wide-spread mental illness called “Clinical Depression”. Because let’s save some time here instead of talking about the differences and the actuality of the illness.

I wanna talk about it because I’ve been battling with depression since late teenage, Of course not non-stop, but rather during different years and periods in my life. I’ve been medicated against depression multiple times. And the result? Relapsing over and over again. Sometimes depression came alone, & some other times it came hand in hand along with anxiety. And those two are seriously gruesome.

It’s seriously disturbing how mental health medicine & services related to mental health are super scarce in my country. But, recently things are beginning to change. In all my years with depression, no doctor suggested any type of therapy, other than pills. Seriously, why? Why mental health holds no value in this place whatsoever?

So, during the Covid-related lock-down, during the height of it, I was watching a Netflix series called “Sex Education”, it really did cheer me up during those days. But what inspired me is a main character who happens to be a sex therapist. This idea made me stop & pause & give myself a minute to wounder. The word “Therapist” or “Therapy” made me look online for any psychology & therapy courses. & I learned that “CBT” or ” Cognitive Behavioral Therapy” is wide-spread (around the world, not in my country), it’s also been used for decades now & it’s used for depression & anxiety.

So I enrolled in a “CBT” online course, & another & another, to understand the concept & learn how to use it. Yes, it isn’t easy to apply it, but it’s easier to apply it on people rather than applying it on yourself when you need it. Oh man, it’s so hard to be a therapist & a patient at the same time.

Another question that left real scars in my cognition was, why no one taught us basic simple principles of “CBT”? What are schools for? Why I never heard a single teacher emphasizing on the importance of mental health?

My studies continued, as I became very interested in the matter. I enrolled in a course that talks about Buddhism & mental health. One very popular concept is meditation & focusing on breathing when needed or just to reset the mind, & the wholesome benefits people get from that. & the importance of the concept of self awareness. Why no one ever emphasized on the importance of meditation? Why do we have to learn; 1st, the hard way, & 2nd, late in life, when changing your mindset or habits take serious time & efforts.

I’m sure it would have been worth it if such matters were addressed in schools, & taught & used to help children in need. You know, instead of telling us people who commit suicide go to hell, they should have been less judgmental & more proactive to know that some mental illnesses cause people to kill themselves with no remorse or second thoughts.

Instead of wasting our time learning stupid subjects, they could have taught us to be self-aware. But hey, who are we bullshitting? I don’t think any of my teachers back then knew anything about either subjects. It’s easier to be ignorant & judgmental.

I don’t want you to think that I’m blaming it all on school or some other party. I do understand now that it’s an individual responsibility to watch out for one’s well-being.

But it also bugs me when a doctor, or a bunch of them, tell depressed people things they believe are facts like “If someone relapses more than twice, they are doomed to deal with depression for the rest of their lives, & that this is now called a chronic depression.” WOW doc! Thank you for trying to depress me even more! But no, I’m not falling for that, because doctors are doctors, they know only enough, they don’t know everything. I’ve been told things by physicians that almost convinced me to go under the knife, to later discover that I’ve always dodged a bullet. MFs want money. (MF is an abbreviation for a bad word).

Depressed or not, anxious or not, a few care, many don’t. Which means, please, do try your best to live day by day, one step at a time. & if you need to talk about your mental health & well-being do make sure to reach out to me.

Katia 🙂

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